Rejuvenate, Reflect and Rediscover

Just a warning. You may find this post abrupt or unintelligible.

But if you are interested, try to decipher the true meaning of all the craze talk.

But again, please don't ask me what I'm talking about. Figure it out yourself, or live with not knowing it.

And please don't pester me about my problems. Otherwise, goodbye.

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Some of you may notice that I'd been all gloom and doom lately.

No, I've been through nothing life-changing. No, no one pissed me off (apart from that one trivial thing). No, I've been through nothing heart-wrenching. No. The main culprit of my depression was me, and myself alone.

Ever tried coupling up your superiority complex and inferiority complex? Try adding some self-mock, self-disgust and a teeny bit of sarcasm into the mixture. You'll get an extremely screwed up person.

So, no. I have not lost faith in humanity. I'd just lost faith in myself.

Then, all wrapped up in the aura of my negativity, I started seeking refuge in all my books. I wolfed down quite a number of books for the past few days, and even pulled down some stacks of old old Reader's Digest.

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"There is always time for wisdom" --- Untamed, PC and Kristin Cast.

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So, last night. My apologies to those who were trying to contact me. I took a night off --- turned off the computer and my cell phone. Than I got into my favourite PJs, dragged my old soft toys out from the corner of the cupboard and piled them up with all my pillow and blankets. This may seem no great feat to you, but for your information, I have altogether 9 pillows (big and small) and 3 blankets crammed on a single bed.

I admit, I do have this obsession about pillows.

Then I filled my hot water bottle up and plopped down onto my bed, soft toys, pillows and all. Incredibly, I felt childlike. Content and very very happy. So, with a really huge and foolish grin on my face, I started thinking about my life.

Try stuffing a hot water bottle into your pillow. It will feel WARM and CUDDLY at the same time.

My life, my problems, my priorities, my goals. My past, my present, and my future. Myself. From my mistakes, to the things I cling on to, and the people I love and care about. About who I am, who I want to be. The things I need to achieve, the things I want to do.

And a lot more, but I don't want to bore you to death.

A note. Writing helps you to stay focused when you think, exercising --- some sit-ups, some stretching, even some yoga stances --- helps you to think.

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"There are no regrets in life, just lessons" --- Jennifer Aniston

"If we were born knowing everything, what would we do with all this time on Earth?" --- Nelly in Fashion Rocks.

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A bed of roses isn't as pleasant as you think it to be. Roses have thorns. But then, though you get pricked occasionally, it is still a beautiful bed of roses.

Contradictions, more contradictions. It's our contradictions that shapes us.

For those who are tired of listening to Lady Gaga or The Pussycat Dolls, try a change of tastes.

Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat, or some Taylor Swift.

Maybe even try John Lennon? (a personal favourite of my friend)

Define simple, plain and meaningful.

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All of us are the same, we are all unique in our own way.

Your imperfections perfects you.

Just remember, you cry when you are overcome with gladness and happiness.

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My most sincere thanks to all my friends out there.

TY, WW, SH... thanks for caring. Sorry if I'd been ignoring you guys for some time.

Grace, thanks for the comments and the awesome blog posts.

Thanks to dingdong, talking to you helped. (though you may not know why, and though you may want me to remove this part about you later on = D)

Thanks to Hang, talking to you helped, too. (again, you may not know why)

Just say that I feel like a normal person when I talk to you guys.

And the others whom I've not mention specifically, thanks too. I appreciate all your help and concern.

*hugs and smiles*

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fishtail