Words. Heavy, aren't they?

I know, I’m usually a lagger when it comes to blogging. I only blog when I’m “in the mood”. So, surprise, surprise, I’m blogging without an almost 5-month lag-phase between my posts this time.

X). Main reason being that I’m stuck in the airport waiting for my flight that’s 3 hours from now, with nothing to do. Thus, this blog post.


Anyways, newsflash on my recent mood.

I was seriously PISSED yesterday.

Not as in I-want-to-hijack-a-plane-and-crash-into-Najib’s-house kinda pissed. Nope, I’m way past that phase. I wanted to do that when I didn’t get JPA on the 1st batch.

It’s the kinda pissed where…

I-WANNA-TUG-THE-RUMOUR-MONGER-BY-THE-COLLAR-AND-GIVE-HER-A-GOOD-SHAKE-AND-SQUISH-HER-FACE-INTO-PULP-AND-THEN-GIVE-HER-A-GOOD-KICK-IN-THE-ASS-AND-WASH-HER-MOUTH-WITH-DETERGENT

If there’s anything left of her mouth after I’m done with her face, that is.

I know, I’m not a violent person. Nada, not at all. Nope.

Peace.


Pardon my french, but dammit, I really really… I repeat, REALLY hate it when people spread rumours about you when they know absolutely NOTHING about the truth. And I don’t know the person who spread the rumour. So if I don’t know her, it means that she does not know me in person too, right? Which brings me to my next point, that she knows NOTHING about my personality, right?

Then who is she to judge, huh?


Chasing after that guy, moi?

What’s this? 10th century, China? When a girl can’t even be within 10 feet radius of a guy? Or will I be decapitated for talking to a guy friend?

Where are you from, dahling? Mars?


FYI, KTT is so damn tiny that you can’t even spend a day without meeting the same people again and again, especially when you’re in the same circle of friends.

GAH.

Fed up?

I am.


Well, learn to think before you say anything. Maybe it’s just some light-hearted matter to you, but people may get hurt as the consequence of your words. You’ll never know, but sometimes just a simple sentence may destroy someone’s reputation, or friendship between people. And what’s it to you? You don’t benefit from it, at the end of the day, but you may wreck someone’s life, literally.


“sometimes we do forget to behave, and we regret what we say, cause words are weapons if we don’t choose them carefully”

True, eh?

Why can’t we just try to be nice? The world can be so beautiful for everybody without all these malice, ya know?

It hurts, being spoken as if I’m some cheap slut.

Try walking a mile in the person’s shoes before speaking next time.


And no offense to anyone, I’m simply amused by the irony. The fact that the person chose to sin after a session of God worship.

An advice, my friend. Religion is about life, it’s in how you conduct yourself.




Ps/ maybe I should heed my own advice, eh? I don’t feel quite forgiving right now. =S XD




Fishtail yu

Please, I would rather have it warm (=

“I only hang out with cool friends”

I heard a girl saying this when we were doing our self-intro during orientation week, and this phrase has gotten itself stuck into my mind ever since then.


Cool, huh?

What’s the definition of cool, may I ask? Having a pretty face and a nice body and fab clothes where you can strut about in? Or having the ability to look down your nose at other people who are not cool enough for you and laugh at them? Or, being rich enough?

Talk about shallowness.


Moi? I prefer warm ones.

Friends, I mean.

You know, that kind of friends who always makes you laugh by being an idiot, not caring about putting up appearances or whatever? The one who pulls a stupid face during photo shots instead of flashing that perfect smile, acting as if a piece of hair out of place in her head will kill her? The kind of friend, who gives you a warm glow of happiness as you think about the times you’ve had together, who brings a huge smile to your face when they suddenly send a random sms to you?

Boy, do I miss the time I laughed until my jaws and stomach ached with my friends.


Warm warm friends. X)

Friends who engulf you in a bear hug, friends who stay up late chatting to you when you are all hyped up, friends who will never judge you for who you are, who doesn’t care whether you are “cool”, or not.

Friends, who won’t let you do crazy things…… alone.


Cause you know what? That’s what friends are for! (=

So, forget the ice. I’d rather have a dose of friendship which warms up my day.


Don't you? ;)

-

淡了

那一丝线，终究断了
请注意，我没说终于
我不会说，终于。

不如你所料，我并没有开心
那么，伤心？
泪水，早已洒在那一段的曾经

笑不出，却也哭不来
留下的只有淡淡的，淡淡的
惆怅

我明白，这段日子走来，是我负你更多
一摞摞的抱歉，我想你也听得烦了
不过若你有机会读到我的文字
请听我再说一次，好吗？

对不起，也谢谢你

路，并不是尽了
只是心，早在第一个交叉点分离

再见吗？
不说了

你一向都不说再见
只会悄悄的离去，不是吗？
就算再见，也只是擦肩而过吧？



祝福你

Rejuvenate, Reflect and Rediscover

Just a warning. You may find this post abrupt or unintelligible.

But if you are interested, try to decipher the true meaning of all the craze talk.

But again, please don't ask me what I'm talking about. Figure it out yourself, or live with not knowing it.

And please don't pester me about my problems. Otherwise, goodbye.

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Some of you may notice that I'd been all gloom and doom lately.

No, I've been through nothing life-changing. No, no one pissed me off (apart from that one trivial thing). No, I've been through nothing heart-wrenching. No. The main culprit of my depression was me, and myself alone.

Ever tried coupling up your superiority complex and inferiority complex? Try adding some self-mock, self-disgust and a teeny bit of sarcasm into the mixture. You'll get an extremely screwed up person.

So, no. I have not lost faith in humanity. I'd just lost faith in myself.

Then, all wrapped up in the aura of my negativity, I started seeking refuge in all my books. I wolfed down quite a number of books for the past few days, and even pulled down some stacks of old old Reader's Digest.

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"There is always time for wisdom" --- Untamed, PC and Kristin Cast.

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So, last night. My apologies to those who were trying to contact me. I took a night off --- turned off the computer and my cell phone. Than I got into my favourite PJs, dragged my old soft toys out from the corner of the cupboard and piled them up with all my pillow and blankets. This may seem no great feat to you, but for your information, I have altogether 9 pillows (big and small) and 3 blankets crammed on a single bed.

I admit, I do have this obsession about pillows.

Then I filled my hot water bottle up and plopped down onto my bed, soft toys, pillows and all. Incredibly, I felt childlike. Content and very very happy. So, with a really huge and foolish grin on my face, I started thinking about my life.

Try stuffing a hot water bottle into your pillow. It will feel WARM and CUDDLY at the same time.

My life, my problems, my priorities, my goals. My past, my present, and my future. Myself. From my mistakes, to the things I cling on to, and the people I love and care about. About who I am, who I want to be. The things I need to achieve, the things I want to do.

And a lot more, but I don't want to bore you to death.

A note. Writing helps you to stay focused when you think, exercising --- some sit-ups, some stretching, even some yoga stances --- helps you to think.

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"There are no regrets in life, just lessons" --- Jennifer Aniston

"If we were born knowing everything, what would we do with all this time on Earth?" --- Nelly in Fashion Rocks.

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A bed of roses isn't as pleasant as you think it to be. Roses have thorns. But then, though you get pricked occasionally, it is still a beautiful bed of roses.

Contradictions, more contradictions. It's our contradictions that shapes us.

For those who are tired of listening to Lady Gaga or The Pussycat Dolls, try a change of tastes.

Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat, or some Taylor Swift.

Maybe even try John Lennon? (a personal favourite of my friend)

Define simple, plain and meaningful.

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All of us are the same, we are all unique in our own way.

Your imperfections perfects you.

Just remember, you cry when you are overcome with gladness and happiness.

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My most sincere thanks to all my friends out there.

TY, WW, SH... thanks for caring. Sorry if I'd been ignoring you guys for some time.

Grace, thanks for the comments and the awesome blog posts.

Thanks to dingdong, talking to you helped. (though you may not know why, and though you may want me to remove this part about you later on = D)

Thanks to Hang, talking to you helped, too. (again, you may not know why)

Just say that I feel like a normal person when I talk to you guys.

And the others whom I've not mention specifically, thanks too. I appreciate all your help and concern.

*hugs and smiles*

---------------------------------

fishtail

Life

This life itself is just a masked ball, no?

Life, a stage.

A stage where we act, where we smile and bow and simper, just to win applause from the audience to fulfill the attention seeking desire in ourselves. At the same time, the other side of us remains detached, disinterested, disapproving of what the other is doing but radiating total unconcern. Smirking and sneering in the corner, he looks on, with the proud triumph of seeing everything, but not.

All human, all of us, are prone to the weaknesses in ourselves. Frail, weak, we are. While we yearn to change, we are held back. Doubt, taints our view. We are held back, by our vanity, our thirst for acceptance, and the fear of detection. We are afraid of embracing change, because changing may bring opinions, may alter views, may bring comments, sneers, mocks. In short, we are afraid of being an outlaw among those who are so-called closest to us, by being our true self.

We are, indeed, too fragile to withstand hurt.

Truth, the image of our true selves, is never flattering. The desires, the ambitions, the sins and all the darkness inside us will then reveal their true colours, stripped of its layers, unleashing a monster which is in reality, humanity itself. And woe to those who unmask, as banished they will be, for being evil ----- by those, who are in truth as evil at core, but just without the courage to admit it to themselves, or hides it more carefully and effectively within. Or maybe, the evil is kept lurking in the shadows, like a dog on leash. But remember, leash or no leash, the dog still bites. And, well, it is still there, waiting for the exact opportunity to strike out when you are most vulnerable; or waiting for the slight movement that breaks the thin ice, the extremely thin layer of ice that veils it from all.

Yes, it exists. There is no someone who is a pure saint in this world. In this case, even the usage of the world "saint" has a hint of irony to itself. I repeat, the is no someone, who is a pure saint in this world. Not if you get into his mind, or his heart and knows the truth. The reality is, they just subdue their emotions and desires better than anyone else. And yea, the surface, the view, is again all that matters. He who acts the best, as always, wins the Oscar, and gets the recognition. It has so been the norm of this world, it is now the norm of this world, and so it will continue to be, the norm of this world.

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fishtail