Decisions, Doubts and Dilemmas - pt 3

No man is an island.

Clichéd as this phrase may sound, the truth of it can’t be denied. No one can function without fellow human beings. That’s why we need company.

Family. Friends. Acquaintances. Colleagues. Neighbours.

The One. The “I do”, the partner of your life.

Maybe this dilemma sounds shallow to you. Maybe it sounds insignificant, or even ridiculous.

My housemates presented the question:

Studying to be a doctor, you’re graduating(those under JPA scholarship) when you’re approximately 26 years old. After that is 2 years of housemanship, where you spend most of your 24 hours in the hospital. If you want to pursue a specialist or surgical degree and after that a sub-specialist, you’ll end up around 37 years old.

For males? Single and available with money. Attractive, no?

For females? Oops!

Will you have time to marry and have kids? Will you be a good wife and mother? Will your spouse understand your life? Are you willing to sacrifice hours for work, or to sacrifice work for family?

Our solution: Buy a big house for the single old ladies in the medical field and live together. xD

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Choosing this path, I’ve had my moments of doubt. I’ve pondered on this choice of mine far too frequent, I’ve asked questions unanswered and I’m still unsure whether I've made the correct decision.

But walking on, I realised that I’ve never regretted wanting to be a doctor.

And maybe this will make all the difference.

Decisions, Doubts and Dilemmas - pt 2

Family. Parents. Siblings.

They raised you. They grew up with you. They were there for you, from the time you learned how to talk, to the time you outgrew your first set of teeth, moving on to when you graduated primary school and then completed your secondary education, until now.

Always being there for you. Through thick and thin, ups and downs.

Which brings me to the 2^nd situation I’ve been left by my friend to ponder with:

There’s an accident and you’re on the spot. You find out that your mom is in the car(just an example!!!), badly wounded. So badly that you know that there is no hope to save her. And there’s another person in the car, a stranger, badly wounded too but can be saved if prompt action is taken.

Who will you try to save?

Maybe the correct choice to make is to save the one who has a chance of survival, but will you do it?

Truth be told, I’ll try to save the one who’s my family. Even if I know there’s no hope of saving, I’ll still try. Even if there’s no breathe left inside the person, I’ll still try to resuscitate. Even if she’s dead, I’ll hug the body and sob with grief, rather than focus on saving the other person.

Or as my friend joked

“Even if she is decapitated, I’ll be preoccupied in finding her head or any missing part of her body, than saving the other person.”

Or is it a joke?

In this kind of situations, is it logical, to be saving the one beside while your loved one is dying or dead without you even attempting to do anything? If it is so, isn’t it cruel, to be so logical?

A doctor, or a daughter?

Decisions, Doubts and Dilemmas - pt 1

This blog post is inspired by a conversation with a friend, House season 6 episode 3 and this Note
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“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

-Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

And that has made all the difference, hasn’t it?

The choice to study my ass off for years and then to come out, still ignorant as hell. The choice to sacrifice hours of personal life or time with my family. The choice of countless sleepless nights and trading my sanity in for someone else’s.

The choice of studying medicine, of the pursuit to be a doctor.

The choice to a life of dilemmas.



My brother once presented me with a situation:

Adolf Hitler is being admitted to the hospital due to an unknown disease a few weeks after the attack on Austria and you’re the attending doctor then, in charge of saving his life. What is your call?

What can you do? What should you do?

Or, what WILL you do?


Do your work as a doctor, uphold your oath and save Hitler. After that, go back to your work everyday as if nothing happened. As if the niggling conscience at the back of your mind isn’t there, as if the guilt isn’t there, as if you haven’t leave the lives of thousands to be torn apart.

OR

Fake a misdiagnosis and murder him, breaking your oath and saving all those lives. But then live everyday knowing that you’ve intentionally killed someone, and let the guilt eat you up, the decision dragging you down from day to day, affecting your work performances and your life.

What is your call?



My answer then was to put him into a coma. Simple, right? The gray area, not killing him, but not letting him kill anyone else either for the matter.

But isn’t that just running away from the situation? Who am I to say that putting a person into a coma intentionally is not as bad as condemning the person to death? Or maybe it is worse, as you rob him of the dignity he might otherwise have gained by death?

Morals. Principles. The courage to carry out your decision. And a strong mind and heart to endure the self torture that are to come for years hence. The “what if’s”.


One, or millions?

A doctor, or a human being?



But who are you to decide what’s right and what’s wrong?

Extract: have a little faith - Mitch Albom

The prayer - and the word "one" - were integral to the Reb's beliefs. One, as in the singular god. One, as in the God's creation, Adam.

"Ask yourself, 'Why did the God create but one man?'" the Reb said, wagging a finger. "Why, if he meant for there to be faiths bickering with each other, didn't he create that from the start? He created trees, right? Not one tree, countless trees. Why not the same with man?"

"Because we are all from that one man - and all from that one God. That's the message."

Then, why, I asked, is the world so fractured?

"Well, you can look at it this way. Would you want the world to look all alike? No. The genius of life is its variety."

"Even in our own faith, we have questions and answers, interpretations, debates. In Christianity, in Catholicism, in other faiths, the same thing - debates, interpretations. That is the beauty. It's like being a musician. If you found the note, and you kept hitting that note all the time, you will go nuts. It's the blending of the different notes that makes the music."

The music of what?

"Of believing in something bigger than yourself."

But what if someone from another faith won't recognize yours? Or wants you dead for it?

"That is not faith. That is hate." He sighed. "And if you ask me, God sits up there and cry when that happens."

The Art of Achievement - Wilfred A. Peterson

You hold in your hand the camel's hair brush of a painter of Life. You stand before the vast white canvas of Time. The paints are your thoughts, emotions and acts.



You select the colors of your thoughts; drab or bright, weak or strong, good or bad.

You select the colors of your emotions; discordant or harmonious, harsh or quiet, weak or strong.

You select the colors of your acts: cold or warm, fearful or daring, small or big.



Through the power of your creative imagination you catch a vision...

you dream a dream.

You visualize yourself as the person you want to be.



You see yourself as a triumphant personality striding toward far horizons of constructive accomplishment.

You see yourself as a master servant of the race, ministering to human needs, radiating happiness.

You see yourself as a builder, making a creative contribution to the evolution of modern civilization.



You strive to make the ideal in your mind become a reality on the canvas of Time.

You select and mix the positive colors of heart, mind and spirit into the qualities of effective living: patience, determination, endurance, self- discipline, work, love and faith.

Each moment of your life is a brush stroke in the painting of your growing career.



There are the bold, sweeping strokes of one increasing, dynamic purpose.

There are the lights and shadows that make your life deep and strong.

There are the little touches that add the stamp of character and worth.



The art of achievement is the art of making life - your life - a masterpiece.

Words. Heavy, aren't they?

I know, I’m usually a lagger when it comes to blogging. I only blog when I’m “in the mood”. So, surprise, surprise, I’m blogging without an almost 5-month lag-phase between my posts this time.

X). Main reason being that I’m stuck in the airport waiting for my flight that’s 3 hours from now, with nothing to do. Thus, this blog post.


Anyways, newsflash on my recent mood.

I was seriously PISSED yesterday.

Not as in I-want-to-hijack-a-plane-and-crash-into-Najib’s-house kinda pissed. Nope, I’m way past that phase. I wanted to do that when I didn’t get JPA on the 1st batch.

It’s the kinda pissed where…

I-WANNA-TUG-THE-RUMOUR-MONGER-BY-THE-COLLAR-AND-GIVE-HER-A-GOOD-SHAKE-AND-SQUISH-HER-FACE-INTO-PULP-AND-THEN-GIVE-HER-A-GOOD-KICK-IN-THE-ASS-AND-WASH-HER-MOUTH-WITH-DETERGENT

If there’s anything left of her mouth after I’m done with her face, that is.

I know, I’m not a violent person. Nada, not at all. Nope.

Peace.


Pardon my french, but dammit, I really really… I repeat, REALLY hate it when people spread rumours about you when they know absolutely NOTHING about the truth. And I don’t know the person who spread the rumour. So if I don’t know her, it means that she does not know me in person too, right? Which brings me to my next point, that she knows NOTHING about my personality, right?

Then who is she to judge, huh?


Chasing after that guy, moi?

What’s this? 10th century, China? When a girl can’t even be within 10 feet radius of a guy? Or will I be decapitated for talking to a guy friend?

Where are you from, dahling? Mars?


FYI, KTT is so damn tiny that you can’t even spend a day without meeting the same people again and again, especially when you’re in the same circle of friends.

GAH.

Fed up?

I am.


Well, learn to think before you say anything. Maybe it’s just some light-hearted matter to you, but people may get hurt as the consequence of your words. You’ll never know, but sometimes just a simple sentence may destroy someone’s reputation, or friendship between people. And what’s it to you? You don’t benefit from it, at the end of the day, but you may wreck someone’s life, literally.


“sometimes we do forget to behave, and we regret what we say, cause words are weapons if we don’t choose them carefully”

True, eh?

Why can’t we just try to be nice? The world can be so beautiful for everybody without all these malice, ya know?

It hurts, being spoken as if I’m some cheap slut.

Try walking a mile in the person’s shoes before speaking next time.


And no offense to anyone, I’m simply amused by the irony. The fact that the person chose to sin after a session of God worship.

An advice, my friend. Religion is about life, it’s in how you conduct yourself.




Ps/ maybe I should heed my own advice, eh? I don’t feel quite forgiving right now. =S XD




Fishtail yu

Please, I would rather have it warm (=

“I only hang out with cool friends”

I heard a girl saying this when we were doing our self-intro during orientation week, and this phrase has gotten itself stuck into my mind ever since then.


Cool, huh?

What’s the definition of cool, may I ask? Having a pretty face and a nice body and fab clothes where you can strut about in? Or having the ability to look down your nose at other people who are not cool enough for you and laugh at them? Or, being rich enough?

Talk about shallowness.


Moi? I prefer warm ones.

Friends, I mean.

You know, that kind of friends who always makes you laugh by being an idiot, not caring about putting up appearances or whatever? The one who pulls a stupid face during photo shots instead of flashing that perfect smile, acting as if a piece of hair out of place in her head will kill her? The kind of friend, who gives you a warm glow of happiness as you think about the times you’ve had together, who brings a huge smile to your face when they suddenly send a random sms to you?

Boy, do I miss the time I laughed until my jaws and stomach ached with my friends.


Warm warm friends. X)

Friends who engulf you in a bear hug, friends who stay up late chatting to you when you are all hyped up, friends who will never judge you for who you are, who doesn’t care whether you are “cool”, or not.

Friends, who won’t let you do crazy things…… alone.


Cause you know what? That’s what friends are for! (=

So, forget the ice. I’d rather have a dose of friendship which warms up my day.


Don't you? ;)

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淡了

那一丝线，终究断了
请注意，我没说终于
我不会说，终于。

不如你所料，我并没有开心
那么，伤心？
泪水，早已洒在那一段的曾经

笑不出，却也哭不来
留下的只有淡淡的，淡淡的
惆怅

我明白，这段日子走来，是我负你更多
一摞摞的抱歉，我想你也听得烦了
不过若你有机会读到我的文字
请听我再说一次，好吗？

对不起，也谢谢你

路，并不是尽了
只是心，早在第一个交叉点分离

再见吗？
不说了

你一向都不说再见
只会悄悄的离去，不是吗？
就算再见，也只是擦肩而过吧？



祝福你